Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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