Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
