So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
