a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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