i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
