So drunk its hurt
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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