when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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