Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
