I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
worst night to have a conscience
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
