you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
