I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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