I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
