He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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