Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
