I'm laying in your front yard are you home
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
