the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
