but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
