I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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