I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
