i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
