You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
