You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
