Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
