don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
