When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We left an ass print on the piano.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
