My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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