Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
is it fun? or sober?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
