No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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