She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
