I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
