Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
do herpes really smell.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
