very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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