yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
