Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
