in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
