i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
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