I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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