Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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