Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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