her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
