My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
