I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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