All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
