idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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