Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
