Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
