i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Randomize
