My boss' voice literally gives me gas
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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