He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
