Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
As shirtless as possible
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
